Adaptive Leadership From the Ground Floor Perspective
By Jeni Craswell
I’m in the middle of leading an adaptive change project and honestly, it’s kicking my butt! Even when you teach this work and remind others of all the ways the system will push back, when it hits you, it takes everything you have to stay in a leadership mode. Staying up on the balcony, managing the productive zone of disequilibrium, and listening for multiple perspectives rather than getting pulled into disagreements that are sometimes a distraction from the specific issue at hand is hard, even when those conversations teach you a greater lesson about what is happening in the system! One thing I came face to face with recently is an important reminder for us all: If you are exhausted and depleted, it’s even harder! And friends, last month I failed! I was exhausted and I LOST it! I let words spill out of my mouth that came from emotion and exhaustion rather than perspective and then I had to stop and apologize. The truth is, the more important the work, and the closer you are to the outcome, the harder it is to stay aware of the intricacies of the system, the factions that are arising and system pushing back. And sometimes, we don’t succeed. That is the hard work of staying in it for the long run. It’s also an important lesson.
My friend and new Executive Director of the Association of Leadership Professionals (ALP), C. Marie Taylor, recently posted a reminder about the importance of taking care of yourself, of rest and re-energizing to stay in the work. That is so critical and something that those of us in non-profit work are notorious for ignoring. There is just too much work and the risks of not getting it all done are high. And yet…
C.Marie’s powerful phrase stopped me in my tracks and made me think. “I am not meant to earn my worth through exhaustion.” She continues with “What am I modeling if I only give myself permission to rest after I’m depleted?” At Leadership Eastside, we pride ourselves on teaching the importance of thrival. Yet we have a twenty-year history of operating as a traditional nonprofit, continuing to try to get all the work done even though we don’t have enough staff capacity. Leaning into practicing what we preach is HARD! Because, while we are changing systems and expectations, we are still trying to prove ourselves: to our community, to our students, and to others who are watching to see if we will succeed. And…the system always pushes back. Yes, you should thrive, and also, when you step back to rest, progress slows and people panic. What if we fall behind? What if we don’t succeed? There aren’t easy answers to this and all these questions and challenges are valid.
What helped me most was to talk to trusted allies, circle back to that meeting and have conversations that were uncomfortable and yet healing, and reset my expectations for what changes the system is ready for now. Sometimes re-defining success is necessary, and it also helps bring perspective. For me, it relieved some of the stress of the things I was thinking I “had to do”.
It’s important to know that, even when you see the direction you need to head and even if you think you know how to get there, the path is long and the work is hard. Also, sometimes the other perspectives in the system bring valuable insight if you can step away from your own plans and listen to the wisdom of the system. Take your rest breaks and remember that you are not meant to earn your worth through exhaustion. Thanks, C.Marie for the reminder!
Take care,
Jeni
